Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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