sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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