Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
