On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are we still banned from the library?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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