Can Purell be used as lube?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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