if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
