Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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