i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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