Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
