If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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