Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
