At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize