Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
