$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
