My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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