Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
