my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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