don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
