That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
