How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
