The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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