help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Damn victory sex feels great
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
