he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
