idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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