I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
