You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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