I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
