You don't have asthma, your pregnant
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize