Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
