Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Randomize
