When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
