I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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