I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
