So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I AM VODKA MAN
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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