Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
