I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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