so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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