I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
