You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize