The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize