I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
