I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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