I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
