He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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