There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
