I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
