Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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