She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
