so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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