fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
