): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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