captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When are your genitals available?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
