Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize