He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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