If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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