no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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