Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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