My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
