I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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