Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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